Phillip Cockrell is a seasoned professional who realizes that every 
company has a lot to offer. If you feel that you have what it 
takes, please respond to this email with your contact information. 
Every inquiry is read thoroughly, and you will be contacted if it's 
deemed that you meet Phillip's requirements. Otherwise, you can rest 
assured that your application will be filed into an electronic desk 
drawer for an unspecified amount of time, where it will be referenced 
periodically in the event of a future opening. 


Position Title: Phillip Cockrell's Employer 


Summary: 
Provide day-to-day support of Phillip's checking account. 
Will be responsible for placating each of Phillip's 14 personalities, 
as well as aiding him in an ongoing quest to maintain his current 
status of "UNIX God", which has been demonstrated by a series of 
diverse implementations of Phillip's innate abilities. 


Responsibilities: 
The successful candidate will be able to schedule around Phillip's 
part-time position at a Texas-based brothel, which will 
remain anonymous for legal reasons. Other tasks include, but are 
not limited to the following: 

* Providing Phillip with a clean place to work. 
* Expecting Phillip to show up every day, and pretending to enjoy his presence. 
* Challenging Phillip with any number of complex tasks involving 
  Linux/Unix, Technical Support, Network Engineering, and anything 
  else that he can read about at groups.google.com or Barnes & 
  Noble. 
* Paying Phillip at regular intervals.


Qualifications: 
* Proven track record of not being a recruiting agency. 
* Must be willing to omit RTF and HTML from emails to Phillip. 
* Ability to not mind seeing Phillip's "pretty" face, both 
  on a daily and on-call basis. 
* Experience with mouthy and emotionally distressed employees a must. 
* Ability to maintain an aura of sense and cognitive thought in 
  your dealings with employees, treat them like people, and provide 
  them with adequate bathroom facilities are all musts. 
* Working knowledge of the term "/.". 
* Working knowledge of the term or symbol that once represented the 
  artist who was, at the time, formerly known as Prince. 
* Exposure to poor, boredom-induced humor a plus. 

+Payment is expected as services are rendered, unless prior 
arrangements have been made. 


Phillip Cockrell is an equal opportunity employee with 7 years of 
experience in Technical Support, System Administration, and Network 
Administration, and is skilled in the following areas: FreeBSD, 
Solaris/SunOS, Linux, TCP/IP, DNS, NFS, HTML, NTP, SMB, SMTP, POP3,
Windows (3.x[x]/9x/NT/2000), DHCP. ABC, DEFG, HIJ, KLMN, OPQ, RST, 
UV, WXY&Z.